Friday, December 11, 2009

Stick This Where The Sun Don't Shine

Blame It On My Lazy Mouse

I had a little surprise today at "There I Fixed It". I was attacked by a pop-up ad encouraging me to stick a contraceptive ring in my vagina. Last time I checked, I didn't have one.

No. Don't ask. I won't let you check. You'll have to take my word on this one.

I was stunned. Why the hell did this ad pop up? What had happened for this horror of advertising to interrupt one of my favorite blogs?

I come to this blog because it calls to my sensibilities as a fix-it guy. Not for suggestions on vaginal inserts. Is this really the best ad for this site? I'm a guy. I'm a homeowner. I'm always fixing things. Then I fix the things I didn't fix the first time. Then I call a professional to fix the fix I had to refix. Is this a guy thing? Maybe. I wouldn't know about how women go about fixing things. Given my lack of the appropriate contraceptive ring orifice, I only have the non-vagina-equipped view of life.

But I digress. Here's how I became vulnerable to this attack on my viewing pleasure:

Two things to note (besides LG and KMart's inflating ads wrecking each other for space):
1) The top banner which reads "Ad will expand in 3 2 1"
2) I use a tabbed browser.

I start my blog viewing by going to my other blog page and CTRL-Click on all the blogs in my list of favorite blogs. This opens up ten or more tabs and they're loaded up for viewing with minimal delays. I do this to be efficient. No time wasted going back to my blog page, clicking the next blog, and waiting for it to load. I just load them all up at once.

Today, when I clicked the "There I Fixed It" tab, I started reading about the "Tree House" without noticing that my mouse cursor had drifted down into the Pop-Up Ad Trap. I am so involved in reading about funny "fixes", that I failed to notice the three-second warning that I was being hijacked to Contraceptive Land to view the Vaginal Ring Toss show.

Hang on. I'm going to go check something...

Still there?

I checked. While there is a chance of the ring falling out during sex, no mention is made of a successful ring toss onto the penis. I have other questions involving areas best not discussed in polite company. If I were to get answers to those questions, I'm not sure where I'd publish them. But that's neither here nor there.

Back to my complaint.

Be careful where you stick your mouse. Watch out for pop-up warnings. I fear that advertisers may be winning, but not in a way they'd like: I'm looking at the ads, but only to say "Eaaugghh! Don't touch THAT! Or THAT! Or THAT!"


  1. Hey Bill, It's Ben Huh, CEO the Cheezburger Network. :)

    I got the update from Sara and I'm glad she let you know that we're looking into this. Seriously.

    FYI, I've asked our ad analyst to contact to/call you. Dan's job is to solve problems like this. He's been in the email thread the entire time and should be aware of the whole issue.

    My gut sense is that there may be a browser/javascript issue that may be causing all the ads that expand-upon-user command to expand for some reason. The "LG - Walmart - 123" battle made me think that was the case since it's really not possible for the mouse to be in 3 places at the same time.

    Also, yes, we are legally-speaking a corporation. But, we're really a small business of 20-some people and we absolutely care! :)


  2. Glad to here the Cheezburgermeisters are on the case.

    As for the "LG - KMart" battle, once the ads expand over each other, you need to close one ad before closing the other. That is, one ad hijacks the "Close" capability from the other. Funny stuff. Funny because it's off on the side of the blog content and not interfering with my viewing pleasure.

  3. Hey Bill,

    This is Dan, said ad analyst from Ben's comment. Do you want to send me an email at Dan [at] cheezburger [dot] com with the best way of contacting you? I definitely want to fix the problems that you laid out above.

    Look forward to hearing from you,

  4. Email sent. Not sure how I can help.